This is It
We just returned from our annual trip to Ross Lake with Yancey's dad and family. Five days of swimming, fishing, hiking, EATING, magazines, card games. And two spectacular thunderstorms.
Wyatt was clearly in the wonderland of his wildest dreams. He was wet from swimming the entire time, made a raft out of a log, jumped off the rope swing countless times, and even enjoyed a few cold cans of soda. Boating yesterday morning, Yancey told Wyatt he could drive the boat next year. Remember that feeling? That feeling of, "When I'm old enough, I get to ________?" That feeling of waiting for a magical date to arrive or waiting to grow taller, be able to read or drive, get ears pierced or go on a first date.
Then it hit me, in a way it never has before, that there is nothing left to wait for. Now, anything I want to happen in my life requires my own initiative, energy, and resources. I'm not into The Secret, this idea that good happens just because we will it to. There's poverty, racism, disease, war, abuse, discrimination of all sorts that prevents people from having abundant lives. People don't just imagine themselves out of centuries of entrenched, institutionalized unfairness. BUT, the things I dream about achieving, giving, and experiencing in my lifetime--this is the time. The magic day won't ever arrive. These things aren't associated with birthdays, doctor visits, or even credentials anymore. It's a matter of my my own engagement, of living rightly in the world, taking risks, and being diligent.
I know there are aisles full of self-help books on this subject--I am certainly not the first to realize this. But I don't think I really got it until this weekend, sitting behind Wyatt in the boat and watching him look up at the mountain peaks that engulf the lake. This is it, folks. Or, as dear Mary Oliver says,
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
August 6, 2010
Reader Comments (23)
This one wild and precious... my favorite Mary Oliver bit, ever. Welcome home.
Yeah, what am I waiting for?
Get off my ass and just do it already. It's right there.
Thanks for the push. Beautiful photos and excellent post!
i know those legs. :) welcome home. and thanks for an important word at an important time.
Hi Sarah ...I've never before left a reply to your posts. I 've been peaking at your site now for the past couple weeks. Thanks for your recipes. Your statements on today's post, though, prompted me to write. I too have had a very strong feeling lately, in the past three months or so, that whatever happens next in my life will only come about through taking risks, hard work, time and one's own resources...what am I waiting for ? In some ways, I believe, these feelings tend to be stronger during a reinvention of oneself or transition periods in life. Cheers to your goals in life.
You know what's fabulous about this grown-up age (I suspect I'm about 10 years older than you), though? The things you grow into, you didn't even know you were waiting to be ready for them. They come as insidious blessings, like the way the light changes during the day and shows you different things in the afternoon? as compared to the interminable wait for Christmas. You know Christmas is coming. The afternoon light feels like an unlooked-for blessing every time.
Examples? Letting go of the fear of what other people are thinking of you. Moving beyond the fear of taking up space. Knowing fully who you are, and liking yourself. No longer holding yourself to ridiculous external standards, because the internal compass is tested and true. In my experience, those are the gifts I'm growing into as I get older. My daughter's still in the phase of yearning to hit those age/height milestones, and being wildly thrilled every time she hits one. Me, I'm every bit as happy (though much quieter about it) with the milestones I've been noticing in the long grass beside the path.
Your vacation sounds/looks idyllic. Good luck with your dreams and goals, and here's to those quiet and profound milestones that never stop coming, in this one wild and precious life.
You inspire me. Beautiful words from a beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing yourself. This post really resonates with me and I appreciate it more than I can express.
I'm a little bit shaken up, profound entry, cut to my soul.
.....but there is something to look for forward to, can you even begin to image your children and their adult lives, and all that they will bring to the table?
....and maybe you'll be as lucky as me and have such beautiful and amazing grand kids as Wyatt and Loretta.1
now that IS something to look forward to!
Shereen, glad you came on board, reading your post was a beautiful way to end the day!
Thank you Sarah. I will read this again and linger...
What a great post to read first thing in the morning! Thank you.
Actually, Sarah, all sorts of '"Milestones," await you! You will have no control over: hot flashes, menopause, Social Security, Medicare....---I'll stop there! So from me (certified OAP as the British say--Old Age Pensioner), I'll just say, Be of Good Cheer! Thanks for always challenging our thinking and feeding our souls!
lovely. you gave me goosebumps with those words. I feel like I've been on the edge of such thoughts lately, too. Thanks for sharing - beautiful pics, too.
Amazing post. So glad you and Yancey and Wyatt and Loretta had such a great time together. That's what summer vacations are for, to break away from the noise so we can listen a bit more clearly.
You are deep and wise like that mountain lake! Ending with that closing from Summer Day -- wow.
Ooo, what lovely thoughts! I think I have just realized this all too this summer.
I'm so excited to find out about Ross Lake from your writing of it, what age kiddos do you think the spot is best for? I'm a little nervous about bringing not old enough to swim on their own little ones there. I'm so glad I found your site via penny carnival, it's fun to read a local blog! ;)
Oh, Sarah, reading this made me feel not quite so disappointed to have to miss your sermon, which family commitments precluded. How have you attained such wisdom in such a few years? We "oldies but goodies" are impressed and appreciative. Hallelujah! Here's to many years at Ross Lake! (Ask ANY of our kids, and they'll tell you it was Priest Lake and its glorious family traditions for us that we still hearken to! Wouldn't trade them for gold!)
thanks Shereen--I need this being a younger mama and forgetting these things.
Hi Kelly! Thanks for writing. I agree--transition brings stuff like this up. Seems like almost everyone is in some kind of transition all the time, doesn't it?!
Beautiful, Shereen. Thank you.
You're right, Pam. The milestones aren't over. I hope I can meet them as graciously as you seem to...
The Priest Lake tidbits I've heard from you make me want to hear more. Missed you this morning.
Loved reading this post! I know too many people who are waiting for life to happen instead of MAKING things happen to them. This was just the boost I needed to keep going. I kicked my beloved wine habit last week, and was rewarded with a 2 pound weight gain. I looked back to the week - I worked out twice each day, and even three times in a day and never did I eat more than 1800 calories.
But then I caught myself - had to step away and look at the big picture and realize I still have to keep moving my feet forward. :D
Beautifully put - I am a person that is always waiting for "the next big adventure". Just the other day, I looked around me and realized I am living in an adventure, now I just need to enjoy it!
Thank you for sharing what's happening in your thoughts. I appreciate the "rest".
Always good to read your blog. I'm glad it is good for you. It is surely good for me. :)
Sarah!
I read your blog weekly, but this week hit home. My friends and I were just talking about (1) going up to Ross Lake, and (2) what passionate thoughts and the inception of ideas evolve when we are "unplugged". Kudo's darling.