Dropping In

Once, at a big all-church meeting, we were talking about how to better form community with one another. I stood up and said I'd like people to drop by my house more often, unannounced. A few people laughed. The facilitator said, "How many people here like drop-ins?" Me and half the room raised their hands. I love the other half, but don't understand them.

I read this great little article about the lost art of dropping in. More than favorite restaurants or parks, more than knowing the fastest route to the grocery store or finding a church, I'm starting to feel at home in Bellingham by knowing where people live. Our homes say so much about us, and it's a profound honor to know someone in that way. If you were to drop by my house today, you might guess a favorite mantra,  "A tidy house is a sign of a misspent life." Or that I've been to the apple farm this week and the fruit flies know it. Or that I'd much rather read than garden.

This week, Wyatt found out where a new friend from school lives. He's so excited about it, and we've driven by a few times. (Stalking?) He feels connected to that friend in a way he didn't before. I got to see Emily and Ricky's new apartment, sleep on their couch, and wake up to all the morning sounds in that little corner of the universe. I've started a trade with a mom at preschool, and Loretta has declared this little guy her "best friend" because she's been to his house. I got invited to join an awesome book club, and we had our inaugaural night at Kelly's house. And Kamille let me drop in with hardly any notice and we had a nice hour at her table while the kids played.

In three weeks, we'll move again to the house we (read: Yancey!) have been remodeling. Our sense, unless life surprises us, is that we'll be in that house until the kids graduate from high school. It's crazy to think about it that way. I've found myself saying things like, "Well, I can't host until after we get settled," or other such %$*#. We'll have plumbing, heating, fresh paint, and lots of love. And you are witnessing me saying it here: "Bring on the drop-ins." I hope I have the good sense to quit unpacking or cleaning, put on a pot of coffee, and not apologize for the mess. Life is too short to do otherwise.

Comments

[Allison]

Thank you for sharing such inspiring and truthful thoughts. I, too, find myself wanting to wait until things are just so and the house is in such order before we have people over. The art of "dropping by" is one that I find I have to keep reminding myself is part of a full and significant life, and not an annoyance to be dealt with. Isnt that amazing? Thank you for hitting the nail on the head. Growing up, and even now, I can go home and still know where "everyone" lived and still lives. Homes are that important and significant. And growing up, I don't remember ever once being mindful of what anyone's home looked like on the inside. I just remember the warmth that the home gave off from the inside. Thank you for making me mindful of that again.

[Sara]

Amen sister...

[Pam]

I would drop in, but I don't know where to drop. Likewise, I'd be happy if you dropped in on me!

[Heidi]

I would love nothing more than to have you drop in over here. Sadly, sometimes miles get in the way of lovely, spontaneous drop ins...

[Stacy O]

You and your family are welcome to drop by anytime! We love to have people over. Eric and I plan to invite you and the family over very soon so that you know where to drop in!

[molly]

my best friend grew up in alaska, and she speaks passionately and often about how much she misses the way people would just drop by throughout her childhood. i, on the other hand, grew up in a suburb, and nobody but nobody dropped in. ever. i haven't perfected the art of receivership, but dang it all, i love the spirit. thanks for this eloquent invocation of it's benefits. i love to see it laid out in words.

[Tiffany]

Oh, Sarah, I just love you and your candidness. After reading your posts, I am always refreshed and offering more grace to myself and others. whenever I search for your blog in bing, it lists "in praise of the f word " as a possible suggestion, and I laugh quietly to myself wondering if you would have chosen that had it not been taken.

[Kamille @Redeeming the Table]

for some reason I never saw this post. I would be among the group that love "drop-ins" if you hadn't guessed it. You put it so well here. Thank you.

[Grace Currier]

Your article (this one) was on Tanya Shoeman's FB and the subject was one that is always on my heart, since I feel a strong bond for people with their homes, and often feel like "dropping in" but never know if I would be welcome. I saw Rich Enstad a couple of times recently (he did some work for S Seattle clients) and he told me your famiily had moved to B'ham. I know you are from there and glad to hear that you are finding community quickly (or forming it where you are). Also am glad to have discovered your website/blog - looks so interesting!!! : )

[Annie]

Well I'm in the other half for sure. My house is always a pigsty so I hate having people drop in unexpectedly. I can't enjoy your company when I'm looking at all the junk on the floors and counters.

If I know you're coming at least I have time to tidy up the worst messes and relax for a visit.