Six weeks since I last wrote here. Wow!
Absolutely nothing of note has happened in my life, and I suppose that's everything. I haven't been to a funeral or been bombed. I've had three meals every day (and sometimes more). I've been able to tuck my kids in almost every night. I've cleaned my desk many times (at night, it messes itself up), vacuumed the entryway stairs 20 times, walked down to the mailbox every day, fed the dog 2 cups of food twice a day, and done dizzying amounts of laundry. Anne Lamott says that if she had a year left to live, she'd return phone calls. So I've gotten back to friends and clients. I've ordered more #$*ing ink for the printer, done six weeks worth of meal planning, prep, and cooking, and am trying to lob dish duty off on Wyatt. On Friday mornings, I administer a spelling test to 20 first graders and on Monday nights I cook dinner for 12 family members. I've mediated conflict, written proposals, facilitated meetings, and tried to keep praying. And I've been able to keep running, which is a big miracle.
All of it, really. All of it is a big miracle. You probably guessed I was going to say that.
Being on the trail is church for me lately, especially when I listen to podcasts like this. One of the stories was about a man who was on the plane that Captain Sully landed on the Hudson River. Listening to him talk about that moment is chilling. He said he realized death wasn't scary, but he was sad--sad about everything he'd miss out on. And he realized three things that changed his life: 1) Everything can change in a moment. Pour out all your love and affection on the people in your life NOW. His metaphor was a wine cellar--don't let those beautiful bottles sit around! If you've got the wine and you've got the company, open that bottle and drink it. 2) Life is too short to give any space to negative energy--grudges, resentment, the games of the ego. Being happy is a lot more fulfilling than being right. 3) The highest calling for him: be a good parent. He tells a story about going to his daughter's dance recital one month after the crash and absolutely bawling through the whole thing. He knew why--being there for that moment was the culmination, the pinnacle, of so much tenderness and beauty. And if you're not a parent, I think I'd translate to, "Dive into meaningful relationship. Promise things to people and make good on your promises. Be vulnerable and expect vulnerability."
I'm making myself tear up here. An hour ago I was in a bad mood because I have a cold, the vacuum belt broke, my wireless router is messed up, and I didn't want to pay the bills. But I'm having a good little coaching session for myself. We all need that sometimes.
I have been so thankful lately for our weekly delivery from Dandelion Organics, and the upshot has been greens. And more greens! It works for me to sauté a bunch of green things up together, keep them in the fridge, and add them to everything. Yesterday, I added olive oil to a hot wok, then dumped in an obscene amount of spinach and kale. Then thinly sliced leeks and green peppers, crushed garlic, salt, pepper. I toasted some whole wheat break, fried an egg, and put the egg and the greens between the bread. Or you could use your green mixture with eggs, roasted potatoes, as a topping for tostadas, a filling for burritos. Endless.
Thank you for being here with me.