I have two nieces and a nephew. I was intent on getting a couple good photos over the holidays. Ezra, my nephew, must have known how badly I wanted the perfect shot of him because he resisted it like nobody's business. I had to settle for these mischievous little eyes peeking over the pillow.
Without going into detail, it's safe to say I've had some low-level anxiety the past few weeks about work, loose ends in a few endeavors and relationships, and uncertainty about what 2014 holds. My question to myself is, "How can I attend to my anxiety in a way that makes me a more compassionate mother, wife, friend, and consultant?" The worry is there--there's no virtue in ignoring it. But there's wisdom in noticing it, having some little talks with myself, and praying more than normal.
Emily posted this Henri Nouwen quote:
The real "work" of prayer is to become silent and listen to the voice that says good things about me. To gently push aside and silence the many voices that question my goodness and to trust that I will hear the voice of blessing--that demands real effort.
It's funny how anxiety sends me right back to square one about whether I'm a worthy competent person or not. Nouwen reminds me about the voice of blessing that's trying to be heard.
And being around kids? That reminds me, too. Today, Loretta asked if we could stop playing Cash Register (absolutely her favorite game) and snuggle instead. Yes, please.