I was very pregnant with both Wyatt and Loretta during Christmastime. When Advent rolls around, I always find myself thinking of Mary. I've got a pretty rough theology where Mary is concerned. I don't believe she was a near-divine virgin, but an unwed mother on the margins. Somewhere along the line, she decided to choose love instead of bitterness or victimhood.
I wonder what her gratitude journal would have said:
Grateful the angel didn't say I have TWINS in my womb. If this really is God inside of me, that would just be too much.
Joseph says he'll still marry me despite all this craziness. I can't say that I love him, but I guess I'm thankful not to be doing this alone.
Looks like we'll be traveling right before the baby is born. At least they have nice hotels in Bethlehem and we'll be warm and clean if I happen to go into labor.
What blows me away the most about Mary was that, when the angel visited her and told her it was GOD inside her, she said, "Here I am, the servant of the Lord: let it be with me according to your word." What?! What about, "You're gonna hear me roar,"? or "Shake it off"? What's this yes stuff? This surrender?
I don't understand it all yet. I don't think the citizens of Ferguson should be submissive. Or any of us where racial equality is concerned. I don't think we should accept the evils of Wall Street, war, or unkindness and domination of any kind. Or malaria, ebola, polluted water and dirty oceans.
But I wonder if surrender is something that submission or apathy is not. In Mary's case, it was surrender to mystery, a "yes" that came despite her fear, the millions of unknowns.
In these 25 days of Advent, I want to say yes with Mary. Unfortunately, I like comfort and certainty. I like plans and things I can take pretty pictures of. But I've got a feeling that's not where the magic is.
Let's stay tuned together. Somehow, I'll be here every day.