In conversation with my therapist today, we talked mostly about the opportunity I have in my life right now to receive, to let myself off the hook for some of the roles I've fallen into, and to have more mutuality in my relationships. She said (my paraphrase), "You're problem is never going to be apathy or inaction. Your struggle is with vulnerability." (Not talking about it--ha!--but actually living it. Crap.)
She challenged me to notice and keep track of all the moments during my days when I'm on the receiving end of something, to put flesh and bones on this desire of mine to step into the Divine Feminine, to say "yes" in the way that Mary said yes--with strength, with doubt, with trust in the unfolding mystery.
Because I'm a good girl who does her homework, here's my Receptivity Journal for today, and it's written with unending gratitude for all the ways my needs are met and all the ways they will be met tomorrow. And I'll put it out there again, Universe--I'm paying attention. I'm ready to open my satellite dish and receive your beams of love.
- Hugs and kisses from both my children this morning.
- Loretta's lightbox on which she arranged the message in the above photo. How precious to be seen and loved by her.
- Facebook interactions with readers of this blog--their thank-yous and digital love.
- Laura letting me borrow her snow boots and Zapper letting us borrow gloves and sleds. (ANOTHER snow day today!)
- My dog putting his head on my lap.
- A thank you from a client in my inbox.
- Two Christmas cards. God, how I love Christmas cards.
- A message from Yancey saying he loves and misses me.
- A walk in the snow with Elizabeth.
- Dinner with Zapper, Laura, Sylvia, and Cosmo and lying on their couch with a cookie hangover afterward.